IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!!!
I have finally made a "REAL" decision to start my online journal, which in essence will be my view of life. This is my view of how I experience life, which means it's how I view my life, how life affects me and how I choose to deal with life to the best of my ability.
Now I know you won't always agree with me and that's OK, really it is. You don't even have to feel obligated to share an opinion and if you do share, I ask you kindly to please share it respectfully. My intention of sharing in this journal will never to be to offend anyone. I believe that as we get older there comes a time in our lives where we each choose how we live our lives. I believe it is and has to be a personal decision as we each live our own lives. No other person can take your place and live your life for you. Every choice we make will have consequences and each one of us will have to live with those consequences. No one can take your place and take the heat when it gets too hot. Sadly that's not how life works. You can try your best to avoid it or pretend it's not there but at some point you have to face the music.
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER
I can hear you say, "Lorelle not all things that happen to us is because of our own choices" and I agree 100% but I also believe that the choice of how we respond and deal with those things out our control lies complete in our own hands. It might be hard and extremely unbearable at times but you choose how much power something or someone will have over you. It's not easy to choose a positive response and attitude when it's tough but it's doable if you say yes to taking back the power.
LIFE LESSON - REMAIN TEACHABLE
I constantly do my best to live a life where I remain teachable so I can continue to grow as a person. Over the last 35 years (almost 36 in September) I've learned and matured so much and do my best not to use the words "can't" and "never". I am happy to say I am not the same person I was 20, 10, 5, a year or even a month ago. I learn something new every day and I discover something new about myself all the time. The discovery isn't always good and it's a tough pill to swallow when it's not. I'd love to say I never have to work on improving myself and that I'm perfect, who wouldn't but so many times the flaws are highlighted and I have to be mature enough to acknowledge and admit I've got some work to do. I have to be honest and admit there are times it takes a while before I start the actual work as it's not always easy to admit you have imperfections. Truth be told, admitting you have flaws is the hardest thing ever but I make it a point to start. Believe me it's not always a quick fix, sometimes it's a "REAL" tough process that takes time but it's a process that is worth it .
MY #WomenInProgress" STORY
So before I share a little bit of my #WomenInProgress" story let me first give credit where credit is due and I am big on giving credit.
Please know, I am not perfect and that is something I know very well, which sadly wasn't always the case though. I know we each have our own #WomanInProgress story but let me be real in saying that my story is grounded on faith and relationship. Let me explain, until 2008 I lived a bubbled life that was self-absorbed. Simply put, I was just plain selfish. I thought there was nothing wrong with me and that is was never my fault. I always blamed something or someone else if things didn't go my way. Emphasis on "my way". Little did I know, life did not revolve around me and that there was so much I had to learn about myself and life with me. I had to love being me and spending time with me, let alone like me. Out of all the people in my life I'll spend the most time with myself, needless to say that was far from the truth. I hated who I've become and didn't even know how I got there. Thank God suicide was never a thought.
You have to know, my mom gave me the talk about changing my perspective all the time. She always told me that I had to change my mindset. She always said I have to change my thought patterns and change how I view myself and life. If I did that, just a little bit I'd find my way back to me. I couldn't stand being around happy people because I didn't know what it was like to be happy anymore. I didn't know the feeling of true contentment. You have to know that I have been in church all my life but for so long it was just another activity for me. Another thing my parents taught us to do. I never really understood the real importance of it. I remember sitting in church as a young girl asking myself why, what was the purpose of all this. It all just felt so empty and senseless and I started my journey of discovery. I knew I had this void of purpose and I had to find it.
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
So my pursuit of happiness started and oh boy did I search. I want to thank my parents for allowing me to explore and find my own truth. Trusting that the strong values and foundation they instilled in me would hold me. I am happy to say I found my truth and turnaround after a huge personal disappointment and hurt I experienced in 2008. I remember that morning so clearly. I walked into the office bright and early, alone with not a sole there yet, feeling numb and broken but yet so in control and whole. I couldn't really understand it, it didn't make any sense. Nothing this heartbreaking happens and leaves you feeling broken and whole all at the same time. I had the most amazing time with God that morning, nothing was said and there where no tears of brokenness but tears of gratitude. Gratitude for the safety net I felt in the fall of letting go and letting God. My whole life changed from that point on as I couldn't see myself the same way again. I could only see me through his eyes and it was wonderful and priceless. That morning I truly found a father, a friend and a comforter in God.
I found my first blink of purpose that morning which was learning to like and love myself because if I couldn't do it, how could I even ask that of anyone else? I learn to like and love myself every day. It wasn't just a flipped switch for me, no it's a process. A process of working through all the past hurt, disappointments and loads of insecurities. Some I've overcome and conquered others I am still working through but I continue to do so with heart filled with gratitude. I am grateful that I see things for what they are and don't walk around with the blinkers on anymore. I acknowledge and admit if I need to do some personal growth, I do my best to choose wisely when I have to make a decision or respond to things out of my control and I don't stay down when I am knocked down. I am a #WomenInProgress wiser, stronger and more empowered than yesterday.
SHARE YOUR OWN STORY
I didn't plan to write a long post but I guess some things just have to be said and if only one person finds meaning and hope in this post, it would have been worth sharing. It's great to touch thousands and millions of people but you never know how your story can be a beacon of hope for someone else. So join me in sharing your real #WomenInProgress stories too. Check out Motrin's website www.motrin.com/womaninprogress to hear more amazing stories. Stay tuned and subscribe to make sure you don't miss out on the rest of my stories. Till next time, keep warm and share the love and your awesome stories.
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